professional Society of Divorce Lawyers recently reported that use
of internet pornography had surpassed financial problems as being
the fastest growing cause of divorce in America.
Go to our discussion site
and see others accounts and add your own stories.
was just re-reading my first post and I feel it gives the impression
I am not taking this serious and that I think it's going to be a piece
of cake. If I gave that impression I am so sorry. I have tried to
fight this battle by myself and kept praying asking God to help me,
but down deep I'm not sure I really wanted his help because I was
so caught up in it all. It was hidden and no one knew so who was I
hurting or at least that was my thought pattern. Well, I began to
notice that after God, my wife was the first one I was hurting and
then I started noticing how I was putting my wife, kids and grand kids
off so I could be alone so I could get on the internet. They would
want me to go places and do things and I would say no so I could be
at home alone. Then I caught myself trying to find places for them
to go to get them out of the house so I could be alone. I know your
thinking the same thing I am, what a low life dog. I have a wonderful
wife that would do anything for me and a great family. They would
not believe that I was caught up in this. They so don't deserve this.
I finally worked up enough courage to tell my friend who is my accountability
partner. I knew when I told him the friendship would be over, but
that guy has the love of Jesus in his heart. He never once judged
me, just encouraged me that with God's help, we would work through
this. I know I have to tell my wife, but right now is just not the
time. I know that sounds awful, but I just can't at this point.
So here I am, my first day with the Wisechoice filters and someone
that knows the truth about me and I am scared to death. Part of me
is so relieved knowing that I don't have access anymore, but the other
part of me is scared to death of how far I might go to regain access.
I have joined a Men's study group at our church and we are doing the
Seeking Him study. I'm hoping that will help me to keep myself more
Anyway, if any of you are not too disgusted with me, I would love
to hear any helpful tips or hints on how to get through this. I know
all hope comes from God, but right now I'm feeling pretty hopeless.
here to sign up for Wisechoice Internet Filtering
and family lost
years ago I spent over 1000 hours on internet
pornography. One thousand hours works out to be forty- one complete
24 hour days of internet porn use! I was asked by one counselor,
" what happened with your family?" "I lost
about your job?"...." I lost it too......I've lost everything..
have struggled with porn for about 25 years. I have been
married for the last eight. Thank God for this forum!
I struggled with my morale at work because during some idle
time, I would use the Internet at work for browsing non-work
related things. Not porn, the filter here is pretty high.
Even now, for example, I am waiting for a meeting to start
and instead of doing work related items, here I am.
So to prevent me from doing personal browsing, which is
really helpful for things around the house, etc., I got
a DSL line for home use. I did this under the condition
with my wife that only she has access. When I spoke with
the DSL provider, they assured me that they supported password
I insisted that the password access be at the modem level.
I am a computer engineer and have defeated filtering services
before. If I was to have access to some Internet access,
I can usually get to porn. My wife and I discovered, by
accident, that the modem password as a way to restrict access,
was not successful. Either was the DSL provider provided
software. So we were ready to try another service and my
wife picked WiseChoice Internet Filtering.
true story from our forum
to any of you who are struggling with sexual addiction. If you are
reading this, you are pretty likely to be struggling with porn so
stop kidding yourself and listen up. I started getting into porn and
phone sex about 10 years ago because I was a very shy guy with women.
I had a very high sex drive and masturbation was my drug, litter ally.
For a while, I thought I was normal and I just loved sex so I thought
there was no danger in the road I was going down. I continued my habit
of masturbation to porn, phone sex, and online chatting all the way
up until about a month ago when I found WiseChoice. I will say that
I honestly do not work for WiseChoice, I don't have any reason to
tell you this other than to tell you that this tool WILL HELP YOU.
It will help you by FORCING you to stop viewing porn online. I have
found that through the past 10 years of my addiction (I almost hate
saying addiction because it implies that I was not choosing my behavior
but really, it is an addiction because an addiction is really a STRONG
habit that one gets caught up in) so anyway, I have hidden it from
everyone and I have been living in a hell of fantasy. I would fantasize
when meeting pretty girls, seeing girls, or even at work under stress,
I would use masturbation as my drug. I HATED it. I was very depressed,
I was always full of anxiety, I just felt tons of shame but I covered
it up very well. I have to think though that people around me kind
of knew I was struggling with something. Anyway, I would go through
cycles where I would get so low that I would reach for help. I would
look online for psychology tips to stop, I even looked at internet
filters but they all had passwords on them so they would not work
if I knew the password, obviously. I probably attempted to stop every
6 months or so but I never could because I was soooo tempted to masturbate
when I was feeling down or stressed out. It was a bad cycle I was
caught in. I then found WiseChoice.Net. I honestly could not believe
it was available when I discovered it because I knew it would work.
The reason why is because, I can't just type a password in to bypass
it. I would have to actually call in and cancel my service to look
at porn, which number one, would be embarrassing to me, and number
two, they would probably talk me out of cancelling because they understand
my problem. The owner of the company developed this because he dealt
with the same issue!!! Read his story if you have not yet done so.
I know I am writing a lot here but I really want you who is reading
this right now to know, that you can not just stop looking at porn
and chatting online by your will power alone. You need to be FORCED
owner of this company is blessing us by not ripping us off
for our addiction. 49.95 bucks a year is such an awesome
price for what this will do in your life) you can be helped.
You have to want help though so if you do, order this service
and you will be glad you did. For those of you who know
computers, you can't stop this service from running. I have
already tried. I have shut down the service in the task
manager and guess what, it pops back up. It really locks
you down which makes you feel soooo good that you can't
go back when you decide to get help. I subscribed about
2 or 3 weeks ago and I already feel less shame, more confidence
and I feel strong so....STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS
story is similar to many of yours. I was first exposed in the 80's
with "bootleg" vids my friends and I would share. These never really
did much for me at the time. I was also a late bloomer in terms of
my first sexual experience. It was in my senior year of college with
one of my good friends I felt safe with. I did not masturbate until
after I had started having sex. This is when I actually started purchasing
videos. I would keep at least a few in my apartment. The frequency
of my masturbation then increased. With the onset of internet porn
things really began to get out of control.
Here I was, a single male in my 20's. I had my own apartment and the
privacy to do what I pleased. I did not have a steady girlfriend during
these times. I would spend hours and hours in front of my computer
checking porn. I would use my credit card to access these sites. It
seemed relatively inexpensive at the time. Although I knew what I
was doing was wrong, I justified it by telling myself this was much
safer than going out and being promiscuous with several women.
The excitement of imagining myself with a different woman every night
was contagious and addicting. I was still able to be involved in other
relationships, but the internet porn was a very convenient "safety
Still in the midst of my porn viewing I became serious with a woman
who ultimately became my future wife. She knew I looked at porn "occasionally."
As she lived in another state than I did, she really had no idea as
to the extent of my viewing porn.
Of course I wondered how things would change when we got married.
I rationalized things by thinking once we lived together, we would
be having sex regularly and this would curb my appetite for porn. For
the first few months of our marriage this was in fact the case. We
lived in another state. I had a new job. With the new atmosphere things
were different for a while. I then made the mistake of responding
to one of those email porn adds and I relapsed!!!
It seemed so wrong to me and so shamefully unnatural to still be craving
porn with a beautiful wife beside me! As I began to listen to more
and more Christian radio, I began to get more insight into my problem.
It also opened my eyes to the fact that my situation is not unique
I could continue on and on, but I just thought I would at least throw
this out as an intro to myself and my condition. I am so thankful
for this opportunity to share my thoughts with others in similar situations.
I look forward to extending this discussion with other brothers and
sisters in Christ.
Effects of Pornography
new study done by Patrick F. Fagan examines the effects of pornography
on individuals, marriage, family and community. Fagan is Senior Fellow
and Director of the Center for Research on Marriage and Religion at
the Family Research Council. He specializes in examining the relationships
among family, marriage, religion, community, and America 's social
problems. This study is important for everyone to read as it demonstrates
that it has damaging effects on individuals and families. In the summary
is a visual representation of sexuality which distorts an individual's
concept of the nature of conjugal relations. This, in turn, alters
both sexual attitudes and behavior. It is a major threat to marriage,
to family, to children and to individual happiness. In undermining
marriage it is one of the factors in undermining social stability.
scientists, clinical psychologists, and biologists have begun to clarify
some of the social and psychological effects, and neurologists are
beginning to delineate the biological mechanisms through which pornography
produces its powerful negative effects.
of the findings inside the study include:
is addictive, and neuroscientists are beginning to map the biological
substrate of this addiction.
tend to become desensitized to the type of pornography they use,
become bored with it, and then seek more perverse forms of pornography.
men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their
conjugal relations and less emotionally attached to their wives. Wives
notice and are upset by the difference.
use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce, and is frequently a major
factor in these family disasters.
couples affected by one spouse's addiction, two-thirds experience
a loss of interest in sexual intercourse.
adolescents who view pornography initially feel shame, diminished
self-confidence, and sexual uncertainty, but these feelings quickly
shift to unadulterated enjoyment with regular viewing.
main defenses against pornography are close family life, a good marriage
and good relations between parents and children, coupled with deliberate
parental monitoring of Internet use. Traditionally, government has
kept a tight lid on sexual traffic and businesses, but in matters
of pornography that has waned almost completely, except where child
pornography is concerned. Given the massive, deleterious individual,
marital, family, and social effects of pornography, it is time for
citizens, communities, and government to reconsider their laissez-faire
can (and should) download the study here, and then jump into the comments
to talk. Is your church addressing the issue of pornography? Should
you ever wonder about those men who become internet stalkers or child
porn users? How do they get this way?
our city a prominent individual, church goer, married man with a good
reputation is now in The Georgia State Penitentiary for "enticing
minors". It is unthinkable..but when asked how he began this
unspeakable practice he told us that he had started by watching internet
porn. The porn sites then had links to child porn sites and chatrooms.....as
he watched this material a character flaw was triggered that he had
no idea was present. One thing led to another and then to another.
The result is that he is in prison, his wife divorced him, his business
closed.....if only he had protected himself. "for those
who have ears to ear then let them hear".
is estimated that over 50% of American men are accessing
internet pornography regularly.