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Retail therapy destroying you and your finances? Online shopping bringing pressure on your marriage and your relationships? Wisechoice can stop it!
 

It's called compulsive shopping and you know that you are suffering from this if you find yourself spending hours on the net shopping. Your house is full of items that are not needed and packages that might even be unopened. The fun is in the hunt and it is fun indeed until.....you get the bills and then the fight with your spouse and in some case bankruptcy or even divorce....all due a little shopping. Most of us who may be called shopaholics experience a real high during the shopping only to be hit with a serious depression when you finish and realize what we have done.

Wouldn't it be great if you could not get to the online shopping areas? The doors to Ebay locked...Victoria's Secret closed for the day...no online access to your favorite shoe store, Macy's or Belks. In fact the only way you could shop would be to get into the car and go to the actual store. This would effectively slow you down and maybe save your family and your finances.

Wisechoice is a filtering resource which will allow you to block access from any number of online activities including shopping. Once you have activated the filter then you cannot get to the shops. We do not offer an over ride password but instead if you want to remove the block then you will have to telephone our office and identify yourself as the primary account holder in order to make any changes. We try to make it tough to get around the filter.

To make this even more effective we also offer an accountability feature to keep you honest, At no further charge we have a feature where you give a friend, or spouse or counselor the right right to look over your shoulder to see where you are surfing. In fact it can be set up to give your friend a cell phone or email alert if the systems notices you trying to get to the blocked shopping sites. Secrecy is one of the great powers that fuels online problems. Once others can see what we are up to then we tend to behave!

So put a wall around you and the shops, it is easy, inexpensive and extremely effective.

News about compulsive shopping- one story

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Addictive Behaviors: Using them with fictional characters

by admin

As writers we do all kinds of research for our books: historical aspects, setting details, career information, and so many more types of information. For one particular story, Too Much Red at Christmas Time,  in my new Christmas anthology release from Black Velvet Seductions, Cowboys in Charge , I researched a growing problem in our society: Shopaholism. I hope some of you reading this will recognize this behavior in yourself or in someone who matters to you. These people need your help and understanding.

Shopping ‘til you drop – Shopaholism

Many of us go crazy with shopping at Christmas time because we feel pressured. We want to find that “perfect” gift for our loved ones. Or we want to find at least one thing our loved ones will appreciate receiving. Or we just want to find anything for those people on our shopping list. These are the normal feelings we experience, along with relief when we've finished with our shopping tasks.

Some people can't stop shopping. Compulsive shoppers get caught in a vicious cycle of anxiety. They experience endorphin-fuelled highs, euphoria, and excitement while shopping until they literally drop. When they've maxed out their credit cards and bought all they can possibly carry, they must stop shopping…for the moment.

Often these shopaholics buy things they don't need or really want, including seriously over-buying gifts for others. Guilt quickly replaces the “high” they experienced while shopping. They find it difficult or impossible to face their spouse or significant other with what they have done and with all they have purchased. This guilt leads to secretive behavior. Those unnecessary purchases get hidden away in some manner.

Hidden away or not, these unnecessary purchases have already caused a problem in the compulsive shopper's life. As the guilt weighs heavily on the person, it triggers the emotional problems forcing them to out and shop. Debt has been increased, often to serious financial instability. And trying to keep all of the shopping and hiding of purchases takes a big toll on relationships with others.

Why does someone compulsively shop? It isn't known for certain what triggers the behavior, but there are various suspect causes. Some people experience a strong need to feel special and somehow shopping satisfies that, temporarily. Some people shop to combat loneliness, depression, or anger. Some people believe that shopping will somehow change them for the better. There is also a belief that the behavior can have roots in early experience such as an emotionally deprived child or teenager unconsciously replacing what they need with objects.

What are common results of compulsively shopping? This kind of shopper will start changing their shopping habits. Instead of shopping with others, they will shop in secret. Personal or family debt increases, and sometimes these shopaholics will have secret credit card accounts. And relationships with family members, friends, and at work become strained.

What are signs for family members or friends to watch out for in shopaholic behavior?

• Spending well beyond the budget
• Compulsive buying of more than one particular item, buying three or more of the item
• Heavily shopping at more than just Christmas time, and way too much at Christmas time
• Hiding purchases
• Having secret credit card accounts
• Emotionally and physically isolating themselves from others

Research shows that approximately 6% of the United States population suffers from shopping addiction. Of the compulsive shoppers, 80% are female, and the behavior usually begins in the late teen years/early 20's.

Here is what Wikipedia says about compulsive shopping:

Oniomania-the latin term for shopping problem

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Oniomania (from Greek ? ???? onios "for sale" and µa??a mania "insanity" [1] ) is the technical term for the compulsive desire to shop, more commonly referred to as compulsive shopping , shopping addiction , shopaholism , compulsive buying or CB . All of these are considered to be either clinical addictions or impulse control disorders, depending on the clinical source. 'Originally termed oniomania by Kraepelin [1915] and Bleuler [1924], CB has been described for over 100 years'; [2] but though included among other pathological and reactive impulses, CB went largely ignored for the middle quarters of the twentieth century, and even today 'Compulsive Shopping is a painful yet virtually unknown mental illness'. [3]

[4] [5] [ un[6] ([7] [8] e [9] [10] [11]

'Psychiatrists do believe that the behavior can be triggered by a need to feel special and to combat loneliness, as well as a hope that shopping will somehow change them for the better. But compulsive shopping satisfies none of those needs and therefore the shopper's behavior may escalate'. [12] Similar to other compulsive behaviors, sufferers often experience the highs and lows associated with addiction . 'Like people who have to shoplift, compulsive shoppers are caught in a cycle of anxiety: endorphin-fuelled highs and guilt-ridden lows'. [13] Victims often experience moods of satisfaction when they are in the process of purchasing, which 'gives shopaholics a sort of euphoria, excitement, and "high"' that seems to give their life meaning while letting them forget about their sorrows; but 'there is usually a feeling of disappointment afterwards, followed by guilt'. [14] Once leaving the environment where the purchasing occurred, the feeling of a personal reward may already have gone, so that to compensate, the addicted person goes shopping again in a 'vicious cycle of repetitive impulse buying...just one more thing to achieve a better self-identity'. [15]

'Compulsive shoppers are prone to shop in secret as the condition worsens, debt increases, and relationships with family members and friends become strained'. [16] At the point where bought goods may be hidden or destroyed, because the person concerned feels ashamed of their addiction and tries to conceal it, and 'when shopping habits involve lying about and hiding purchases, the mental, physical, and emotional toll goes up'. [17]

[ edit ] Personal

The addicted person gets into a vicious circle that consists of negative emotions like anger and stress , which lead to purchasing something 'as a form of self-medication'. [18] After the buying is over, the person is either regretful or depressed - 'dejected, regretful or guilty after they get home'. [19] In order to cope with the feelings, the addicted person may resort to another purchase.

Shopaholism often has roots in early experience, as 'emotionally deprived persons unconsciously replace what is missing with objects', while at the same time 'voids in one's identity have their roots in failed parent-child interactions'. [20] Children who experience parental neglect often grow up with low self-esteem because throughout much of their childhood they experienced that they were not important as a person, and so 'learned not to turn to people but to substitutes...for comfort', [21] with the result that they used toys or food to compensate for their feelings of loneliness . Adults that have depended on materials for emotional support when they were much younger are more likely to become addicted to shopping because of the ongoing sentiment of deprivation they endured as children - although latest thinking is that 'these explanations of compulsive buying behaviors may apply to some, but certainly not all, persons with CBD'. [22] As with cleptomania , the compulsive purchase 'means in principle to take possession of things which give the strength or the power to fight supposed dangers, especially...of loss of self-esteem or of affection' [23] : the purchase instead of the toy or the food is substituted for affection . Shopaholics are often unable to deal with their everyday problems, especially those that alter their self-esteem, and many of the issues in their lives can be at least temporarily repressed by buying something.

This disorder has been linked to emotional deprivations in childhood, an inability to tolerate negative feelings, the need to fill an internal void, excitement seeking, excessive dependency, approval seeking, perfectionism , general impulsiveness and compulsiveness, and the need to gain control (DeSarbo and Edwards 1996, Faber et al. 1987, Benson, 2000) [ page needed ] .

Compulsive buying seems to represent a search for self in people whose identity is neither firmly felt nor dependable, as indicated by 'the types of object spurchased, which may address personal and social identity needs'. [24] 'Many shopaholics try to counteract feelings of low self-esteem through the emotional lift and momentary euphoria provided by compulsive shopping. These shoppers, who also experience a higher than normal rate of associated disorders — depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, and impulse-control disorders - may be using their symptom to self-medicate'. [25]

. [26] [27] ', [28] , [29] ' [30] [31] ' [32] . [33] '. [34]

[ edit ] Consequences

[35] F

urther practical and emotional problems can include ruined credit history , theft or defalcation of money , defaulted loans, general financial trouble and in some cases financial bankruptcy , 'extreme levels of debt , anxiety, and frustration, subjective sense of loss of control, and domestic dissensions'. [36]

The resulting stress can lead to physical health problems and ruined relationships, while some 'may become so ashamed of their problem that they...consider and even commit suicide '. [37]