Most
male porn users have no idea of the devastation caused to their wives.
"My wife was deeply hurt-feeling betrayed that I would want to
look at another woman. My point of view was that "these women
didn't mean anything-they're just pictures." How stupid could
I get?"- Ned Dominick, Founder of Wisechoice Filtering
So
often, husbands assure their wives that they will stop watching
porn but then continue. The number of marriages
failing due to this is staggering, so we have found that
when the conversation is happening then husbands will often
agree to install a filter and to agree to accountability
reporting so their wives can see where they are surfing.
porn use is tremendously difficult for men to stop so often
they feel relief to know there is a wall between them and
the material. Wisechoice has helped save many marriages
and relationships.
Read
other women's stories and participate with your
own. Click
here for our forum
Wisechoice
filtering is incredibly accurate and customizable.
For example it can be configured to provide access to clean
YouTube while blocking the pornographic material. It also
can be configured so as to record all of the surfing history
in a location that cannot be erased by the user. If you
wish it can even be set up to text your phone or email you
if the computer is attempting to access blocked material.
It is really amazing.
Protect
your children at no extra charge: Not only can you use it
to guard you marriage but you can have as many as five other configurations
for your kids which can be set up to provide time limits for internet
use, or even record their conversations in chatrooms or social networking
sites. It is an incredible tool. It can save your family.
Here
are some of the posts we have received from other women on our discussion
board.
Hello,
I am glad I found this site tonight, I needed some support. My husband
has been addicted to porn for as long as I can remember. We have been
married for 8 years and the throughout our marriage he has looked
at porn on the computer. I did not realize it until one night about
4 years ago.
After that first time I found out it went into this pattern, he would
continue, the whole time lying to me about it, I would find out about
it and it would just devastate me. Now, I know he is addicted, and
will not stop until he gets some help. I don't check up on him anymore,
I know he is doing it, the fact that he thinks I am stupid and will
swallow his lame lies makes me angry. The fact that he chooses this
over our marriage hurts, sometimes more than I can bear.
I spent a couple days in the hospital and I know he was online seeking
porn then. He would tell me he couldn't sleep because he was so worried
about me, I had to turn away from him, I am not sure if I was more
hurt or angry. He arrived at the hospital after 12 noon looking like
he had not slept all night long (probably didn't). The next night
he was so tired he was falling asleep behind the wheel while driving
me home from the hospital, I asked him to pull over and I drove us
home.
Where we stand now... I told him, like so many times before,
we will NEVER be the couple he wants us (and I) to be until
he gets some help for his addiction. He wants a happy, close,
married couple, but this porn addiction always come between
that. No matter what. Our sex life is practically
non - existent.
I have learned I cant help him, not really, I can support him, but
he has to want this, more than the porn, he has to want to be healthy,
want our marriage, more than the porn, and then get some help. I find
that half the time I am angry and half the time I am hurt, add a little
numbness in there too.
Thank you for letting me vent.
To place a wall around your marriage and family
click here for Wisechoice Internet filtering
************************************************************************
My
husband and I have been together for almost 5 years and been married
for 8months. Before we got married he told me that he was "looking"
at porn sites but promised to stop. Unfortunately for my husband,
I'm a computer geek. 2 weeks ago, I caught back looking at porn. Today,
I found out that he spent $300-$700 a month on porn sites for many
months. I got a hold of his email accounts and all porn sites he went
to. I also got a hold of his credit card which he had been using to
pay for his porn. Let me tell you, I have never been so angry in my
life.
I feel very hurt and disrespected. I feel that he took advantage
of me badly. I put this man in front of me. I paid off his
bills over and over again. I paid for our wedding when we
both decided we are going to pay for it together. And I'm
still paying for it. He did not contribute one single penny
to our wedding but he had the money for his porn. I worked
so hard to buy our first home. How do you forgive? How do
you trust again? Every part of my body is screaming
for divorce.
He does admit that he has an addiction and have asked me to help him.
He asked me to go to therapy with him to save our marriage. To be
honest, I think I'm done. I do not want to go to any therapy. I really
think this marriage is over. I keep thinking back during the planning
stages of our wedding. I was running out of money and had to use my
credit cards and he kept saying that he didn't have any money at all
- looking at his credit cards statement, I know why now.
How do you move on? How do you really forgive? I look at him and he
is a complete stranger. I'm living with a stranger.
for
more on guarding your marriage click here for the Wisechoice Internet
Filter
********************************************************************
In late August I found out
that my husband had been looking at porn again.
I knew when we started dating that he had looked at it,
but he said he would stop because he knew how I felt about
it. I was okay with that answer since I never knew the addictive
nature of it! We have now been together 5 years and married
for 2 years. Through this time together I have seen things
on our computer, but he said it was not him and that it
had been put on his computer when he was surfing the net.
He is a huge computer geek and is on the computer all the
time! This last time we talked about it and he started to
lie about it again till I named some of the sites he went
to. He says he feels bad, but I do not think he really thought
he cheated on me. He says he is no longer doing that, but
after reading many posts on this site I have a hard time
believing that! Since he is a "computer geek" I know he
can hide things from me. I am trying to get up the nerve
to ask him about putting the Wise Choice filter on our computer.
His sex drive is so low when it comes to me that it makes
me feel so bad! I love being with him, but it seems that
once a week is okay for him. I waited till we got married
to have sex and feel kind of cheated. I just think something
is wrong when a 30 year old man does not want to have sex
with his wife. I am by no means a super model, but have
never had problems attracting guys. When I tell him that
I am having a hard day and he asks why, he is in disbelief
that I am still dealing with this and trying to heal. To
make matters worse my parents are getting divorced after
30 years and my dad moved in with us till he gets into his
new apartment on the 1st. I would appreciate any words of
support of encouragement.
for
more on protecting your home click here for Wisechoice Internet Filter.
*******************************************************************
Brokenhearted:
A
few weeks ago i found out my boyfriend was looking at porn and i ended
up confronting him and asking him why and he said it was because he
was sexually frustrated and he needed the visual stimulation to take
care of his business. I told him i would do anything to help and he
said ok and he also said that he would stop when i told him that i
felt hurt and ugly and like he had cheated on me. I didn't think it
was an addiction for him until just yesterday, i had an overwhelming
feeling that he was still doing it so i went snooping which i know
is bad but it turned up that he had created a new email address in
order to sign up for porn and hide it from me. It has become really
stressful on me already, i couldn't sleep last night because i couldn't
stop thinking about it, and i want to say something, but i know that
i am wrong for snooping in his email. I don't know what to do, or
how to confront him, and the worst part is that i am pregnant right
now with his and my first child, but my second, and i cannot see myself
going through the stress of raising two children all alone. part of
me wants to just leave, but i don't think i can handle two kids on
my own, please help, any advice would be very helpful
********************************************************************
2005
was the worst yet as porn lead to an affair and then adultery. our
relationship was dead after both my daughters married my husband begin
seeking ego strokes thru chat rooms these young girls would tell him
anything he wanted to hear because they were professionals but the
had him hoodwinked into thinking they really card about him. he told
them everything about our personal like including home address and
phone number. being older and married for so many years i was totally
blindsided .I would ask him every so often if he was having trouble
with porn again and he lied bold face he was not. and all the time
he was looking at porn during his lunch hour at work and chatting
with web cam girls at home. He even paid for personal private time
with these girls by money order so I wouldn't find out because I take
care of the bills . So for seven months he hid this from me and became
emotionally attached to two girls 30 years younger same ages as his
daughters. I'm not sure yet that he understands these were whores
and money was the name of the game. He went so far as to visit them
in their own country on the other side of the ocean as he made up
a business trip that would get him to where they lived. When the money
stopped they were not as interested in him even though he said he
wouldn't have had sex with them because they were so young. he had
already had sex with them over the webcam. his brain got so jumbled
up he couldn't even think straight. We are trying to work thing out.
I demanded all communication be stopped with these girls and it took
him a month to really break it off. They not only used the webcam
service but contacted him regularly the msn msg plus his own private
email acct. the reason he gave me for falling into porn was that he
didn't want me anymore because my body had changed and i wasn't his
fantasy women anymore. too fat not attractive to him at all no desire.
I have recently found out that this thinking started after I gained
a lot of weight with my firstborn 25years ago. I worked and starved
it off only to get pregnant again and all the weight returned. Just
haven't been able to get it off over the years. So he got mad at me
and God that he ended up with a frumpy wife and he now wanted someone
new now that the girls were out of the house. love .... don't know
...we are trying to start all over again. he is getting help but it
is a slow process. I'm not doing to well as my weight is still going
to be a problem unless he sees me differently i can't compete with
porn or webcams :cry:
These
are just a few of hundreds of posts on our discussion board at
www.wisechoice.net/discuss
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